It was you, I had in mind

"As I stood there in that garden, knowing that my time was soon approaching…to carry man’s eternal burden and stare death right in the eyes, It was you that I had in mind.

And as the multitudes surrounded me, led by him who was once a part of me. Armed with weapons of destruction, pointing them at me, as though I had sinned beyond redemption. In that moment the reality of my solitude became evident. My journey to agony was at hand.

I looked around as they dragged me into the dark night, but there was no one…not one on my side. But this I allowed, so that you would forever remain by my father’s side.

Rejected and denied, not once but three times, by him who promised to always be by my side.

But during all this, it was you that I had in mind.

They dragged me back and forth, placing me before their rulers, trying to find my fault, baring false witness against me, my accusers.

They struck me, had me blind folded, they mocked me, they had my body in bondage

The pain was unbearable, the anguish unimaginable. But the worst was yet to arrive, what I had to pay was a high price. But I had you in mind.

They flogged me, whipped me, and lashed my body to a pulp. But I was not about to give up.

Then it was time for my coronation, as they sought nothing else but my humiliation. But this was all for your and their redemption.

They placed on my head the crown of thorns, they stuck into my skin, but it was you that I had in thought, for the forgiveness of your sin.

Then on my shoulders they placed the instrument of my demise, freeing the guilty man, yet deeming me worthy to be crucified. But this was not a surprise, this is the plan the father had devised, so that you might not parish but have eternal life.

They laid me down on that cross, drove nails through my hands, but I was not cross, I knew your salvation was at hand.

They hung me up, with my flesh torn up. With blood dripping from every place. But this was not my place, but I had you in mind, it was you that I had to replace.

And finally as I felt that spear slice between my ribs, I knew this was it. My job was done, and I said it is finished.

The price was paid in full, as death thought it won, but it was fooled.

For the keys to life are in the hands of son of man.

For it had no power over me. What it faced was defeat, what it lacked was a sting.

And what was in store for you, was victory, a new beginning

In my wounds is your healing, in my death your life. In my suffering, your redemption. In my crucifixion, your salvation. Through it all, I had you in thought, It was you I had in mind.

And now, the ball is in your court...Do I even cross YOUR mind?"

Suffering in The Dark...

Taimi Shavuka

Just twenty years old, and fired up with excitement for the future untold

A heart that overflowed with dreams, fantasies, imagining all the endless possibilities

I was just a regular girl, you see: Not short of adversities, but a smile that conquered all of these

But what happened next, I would have never guessed.

The storm that consumed me, I never saw coming.

The curve ball that knocked me into a dark pit, was fired by the one who helped me stay on my feet

See, growing up, I always thought family was always there for one another, cared for each other, no matter the weather

But this facade I had created, was ripped into pieces by an act so evil that it couldn’t be comprehended:

He called me for the weekend, in that I saw no evil intent, after all he’s my cousin, that’s as safe as it gets.

Besides, he said he only wants what’s best for me, little did I know this was a wolf in sheep skin

On the first evening as the sun set, I had no idea that that would be the last time I had my innocence intact

A strange touch, and I knew something was wrong, this wasn’t the right kind of love, and I let him know.

I was perplexed, why was he doing this, this wasn’t love, this was incest!

As midnight struck, the hour had come, when my pleas for him to stop fell on deaf ears, as he pretended to be dumb.

And just like that, he had violated my body, raped me without feeling sorry, and I couldn’t tell anybody.

My heart sank like the Titanic, ‘how could he do this to me?’ I was in panic.

After two weeks of pondering and crying in devastation, I finally worked up the courage for a confrontation.

And as I bombarded him with all my built up emotions, and clattered him with endless questions, he broke down in tears…and I was left in absolute confusion.

The 37 year old man, who raped his uncle’s daughter, was the one in tears, but was he mad? I didn’t understand.

And that’s when he pulled out the card he had up his sleeve, the one that condemned me to four months of sickening abuse and deceit

In the middle of his nauseating sobbing, I heard him saying: “…this secret you have to hide, or else I’ll take my life…I’ll commit suicide.”

Then my heart dropped, I was in shock. I was scared, I was mad…and the nightmare began.

At that moment, as my eyes went back and forth, I imagined my family’s reaction if he really did pull through with this evil thought.

If he dies, all of the blame would be on me. I would never be able to live with that liability.

‘They still needed him’, I thought...all of his financial support.

So I couldn’t tell a soul, I was all alone, trapped in a dark hole….with very little hope.

I was forced to continue with this revolting association, by manipulation and deception.

And as I refused to give up and give him that satisfaction, I continued with my confrontations, and that’s when he stopped to manipulate and began to blackmail.

The little he added to my tuition fees, and basic necessities, all of these he began to demand from me.

I had my hands tied behind my back, with a tight rope that gave me no slack.

On the outside, I put on a lipstick smile, pretended to still see the light. But on the inside…on the inside I was dying.

At home I found comfort, in pills and painkillers taken with alcohol. I just wanted to forget it all!

I was on the verge of destruction, on the edge of a cliff and I saw no salvation

I looked all around me and I saw nothing but darkness. Weather I smiled or not, my heart was always filled with sadness

And just as I was about to give up the battle, just as my life seemed to melt away like a candle…I saw light at the end of the tunnel:

In the story of another that suffered just like me, I found the answer. I found the SAVIOR.

She was raped by her own biological father, yet was strong enough to brace all the pain and stand as a conqueror. Granted strength by the CREATOR and restored by the HEALER.

I decided that I too would draw closer to this REDEEMER…and his name was Jesus.

In him I found healing and meaning to the life that I was living.

He took my heart that was shattered, like Humpty Dumpty. And He put it back together as new as can be.

I was granted the might to stand up for myself and put an end this disturbing story. And all that pain became part of my history.

You see, I’ve been through fire and High waters, but all of these experiences only made me stronger.

And today I stand tall as a princess worthy to be called “your majesty”, for I am the daughter of the great King of Kings; who has rescued and saved me. May he reign forever until eternity

[This is based on a true story published in the Namibian: 7 January 2016 - Twww.namibian.com.na/print.php?id=145869&type=2]

NEW AGE GENERATION

New Age Generation

Allow me to speak the truth for minute

Let he who has ears listen

Pay attention as I share what I've been given to proclaim

Because none of these words are mine nor are they in vain

Welcome to the New Age Generation.

Hashtag; current situation.

Where left is right and right is wrong

Where everyone flows with whatever breeze comes along.

Where no one has an Identity nor uniqueness

Lacking integrity and filled with arrogance

Welcome to the New Age Generation.

Were common sense is out of fashion.

And wisdom is out of the question.

Where we sing along to songs that only insult and curse us, and I’m just like what’s going on?

But don’t be alarmed yet.

We are just getting started

Welcome to the New Age Generation

Where the less clothes you have on, the better you look…apparently you got your swag on

Pants below the waist, revealing what was not intended to be seen

Jeans so torn they look like waste, showing too much skin.

Welcome to the New Age Times

Where the order of the day is to get drunk and high.

Let me talk about the present tense

Where being a virgin is an embarrassing fact, and being single is a shameful act.

Where sleeping with your boyfriend is a guarantee of your love for him
And out of fear of being alone, girls agree to sex without a ring
Where our young women are struggling with low self esteem
And young man battling pornography

But let me take you back on a throwback Thursday.

Because none of these problems just popped up in one day.

See everyone is pretending and faking,

Because they are trying to hide the fact that they are hurting.

See the rude girl with the make-up and high heels.

She was molested as a child and her heart just longs to be loved and healed

See you can look into my eyes, and tell me that you don’t need God and that you are doing just fine

But we both know that you’d lying

Because when the lights go out at night…that’s when you begin your fight

That battle against loneliness and hopelessness, that longing to be loved that yearning for acceptance.

That vacuum in your soul, that hole in your spirit

Only God can fill it

But you already know this.

Because you have tried to fill it with every form of pleasure that exists

You've tried the whole alcohol and sex thing, late night partying, 

Expensive Clothes and diamond Rings, Blessers and Sugar daddies

But that just destroyed your self-worth and self-esteem

Smiling outside…yet crying inside

Living, yet not having life.

Because only God can give you joy that is not temporary.

Only Jesus can fill that gap permanently

But you don’t have to take my word for it

You seek his word and you will discover it

Seek his face and you will find his grace

No more excuses because God has already made a way

Christ has already died for your sake, so today, the choice is yours to make.

You can take that mask off now. You can stop hiding your pain, you can stop pretending. Its your time to have peace now. Its your time to have joy, he is just waiting for you to say yes.

You are Loved!!

My Child, My Love, My Creation 

I watched you as you came into this world. My little angel was born

My masterpiece, with whom I was very pleased.

More precious than I could imagine, just as beautiful as I had fashioned.

Beyond expectation, was the beauty of your eyes.

Surpassing all the perfections that I put into your design.

My Child, My Love, My Creation

I loved you before you knew me.

I died for you, before you knew how to sin against me.

Before day one, you were already forgiven.

Before you came into existence, my salvation was already given.

I watched you as you took your first step, as you took you first stumble

I watched you as you made your first mess, to ensure that you stayed humble.

I remember the first time you mentioned my name, singing: “Mine, mine, mine Jesus is mine”

At That moment I understood Why; I carried that cross and took a spear to my side:

For My Child, My Love, My creation

As the years went by, I watched as the world snatched you from my side, snatched you from my light

You dwelt in darkness, you cried in silence, looked for joy in sources of sadness, and All I wanted was to give you life in abundance

I watched you as you looked for me in a Church building, seeked me in righteous deeds

Not knowing that righteousness was something only I could achieve

All I wanted was for you to see that I truly loved you indeed

That you are no longer a slave nor a prisoner but you are FREE

For you to see my victory

And Finally understand John 3 verse 16

My LOVE will never leave you alone, nor forsake you

For it was you that I chose, no other but YOU.

So stop looking, for I am right beside you

Stop seeking, for I have already found you

Stop living in solitude

For I do love you

And Stop WAITING

For today, I call you to a life worth living.

 He Has, and Always Will LOVE YOU!!!!

So, what are you waiting for? Give your life back to him,start LIVING and stop Existing!!!!! Rom 8: 37-39

I AM THE WORLD

Well, I can't stress enough how grateful I am for all the support and page views guys, Thank you so much. Praise be to God:-) Well  I feel like this is why I've been urging you guys to share this blog page with your friends. And by that I mean I really hoped that so many people would've known about this blog by the time I post this poem. Its one that I feel EVERY young person out there should read. So I PLEAD again: Please SHARE!

I AM THE WORLD

I am the World, and I am not to be followed

I do occasionally seem cold, but I really just want to be part of your World

Each day I have a different name, because to me, this is all just a game

Deceiving you is how my time is spent, in fact I have made it my passion

I love to be called the “new trend”, or maybe, “it’s the latest fashion”

I’ll tell you what’s the new Right and Wrong

Even though you have known the difference all along

I’ll tell you; you are too skinny or too fat, you have to be perfect and that’s a fact

I’ll tell you that if you are single you are lonely

And shockingly, you believe me

I’ll tell you; that dress makes you look fine, but shorten it, and you will look absolutely divine

 Don’t you realize that with each centimeter you shorten that dress, the more lust filled eyes on you, and the less your self-confidence.

You can never please me, why do you even bother?

I won’t let you have peace, until I have taken over.

Stick to my rules, I’ll lead you in to darkness

Listen to what I say and I’ll reward you with sadness.

I am the world, and I’m not to be followed.

You know, I love the youth, especially those still in school.

They’ve even given me a nickname, they use the word “cool”

They say it’s cool to be rich, mean, and to make a lot of noise

Well I’m just here to kill, steal and to destroy?

I am the world I am not be followed

You take your chances and I’ll fill you with sorrow.

So be wise, and follow the ONE who died for you

Be smart and listen to the one who adores you

He says although you are in this world, you are not of this world, in fact he has overcome the world, with his glorious word.

He heals the afflicted, Saves the tormented, defends the prosecuted, and mends the broken. And all through his crucifixion. 

He says; come as you are, for I come not for the righteous but for sinners

So go as you are, and as for your sins, well he said “it is finished”

My Father, My King, My everything

So its been a little while since my last post, I'd like to apologize for that; school work has been quite demanding of my time. I just want to encourage again that if you do get to read/see this blog page, please do share with your friends, these poems are really intended to help the youth out there, and the more people see/read them, the better!

My Father, My King, My Everything 

I could stand here and tell you God is good and God is great. 

Well the Lord is the all-powerful make no mistake.

 But then I’d just be quoting things that have already been said. 

These are merely foundations that have already been already laid.  

Instead, let me tell you about: My Father, my king, my everything.

Where do I begin to describe such an amazing being? 

A love that has no end, nor beginning. 

A King who chose to love an unworthy servant, 

a servant so impure, so undeserving.

For  I have made more mistakes than there are grains of sand,

 Yet none of those mistakes could pluck me from is his loving hand.  

No matter how many times the sun set upon me, he always seems to bring joy in the morning

 So many times I find myself trapped in a dark pit, a dark and miserable hole that I helped dig, with the sin that I commit. 

 So many times have my joy and peace been disrupted, a victim of my own self – destruction.

 On my knees, I pleaded for mercy, begged for forgiveness, cried for grace

 And with faithfulness, peace and love, Lord, you showed me your face.  

With a broken heart, You watched me as I disobeyed your commandments,

 As I disregarded your guidance, 

And put to shame your holy name. 

And with that same loving heart you mended my brokenness and wiped away my pain.

 You healed my agony, destroyed the enemy, and replaced my misery with your prosperity, for you are the only peace within me.

You protect the weak, defend the meek, and find those that seek, and calm the raging seas within me For you are my only peace and serenity:

You took away, all my sins and all my fear

Because you promised to always be near. 

 My father, King, my everything.  

All Things New

All things New

  

All things new, out with old…and in with new

I want be a new creation, one with no fault, with no limitations.

Let go of all my hate, let go of every grudge.

Forgive in a haste, and refuse to judge.  

I feel like a caterpillar ready to explode with new life

Like a torch in the dark, ready to expose all of my light

Let go of all my ways, and take a leap of faith.

But, oh my, where do I begin?

And what about all of this sin, that I have within

For I have made mistakes, where ever I have been

I just cannot stop sinning, I just cannot be clean.

No matter how hard I try, I always seem to backslide

I cry all night, I cry with all my might

Oh God, I try, but I just cannot win this fight

Lord I’d Love to come to you today

But let me first clean myself up, then I’ll be on my way.

Let me first make myself worthy

Then I’m ready to see the king of glory.

No, he cannot love me in this state

For he will think I am a mistake

Let me first stop drinking,

Then we can start talking

Let me first be pure

Then he will love me for sure

But let me tell you my brother and sister that you are mistaken

For your sins have already been forgiven

For he came not to judge the world, but to save the world, with his loving word.